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Showing posts with the label Jerome Klapka Jerome

Uncle Podger and the Picture–III

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  Thereafter, everyone had to find the hammer for Uncle Podger. In the meantime, Uncle Podger lost the mark that he had made on the wall. The nail was supposed to go in there. All had to stand up, get on the chair beside Uncle Podger and see whether they could find it. However, they found it in a different spot, and Uncle Podger called them fools.           He tried to reach a point that was three inches beyond what was possible to reach. As a result, the string got slipped. Then Uncle Podger had to slide on to the piano.           Lastly, he got the spot fixed. Then after putting the pointed portion of the nail on it with his left hand, he took the hammer in his right. Right then, with the first blow, he smashed his thumb with a painful yell. The hammer got dropped on somebody’s toes thereafter.           Again, Aunt Maria observed mildly that the next time she would hope that he would let her know in time. If Aunt Maria was informed the next time when Uncle Podger would hammer

Uncle Podger and the Picture–II

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  He looked for a handkerchief while springing round the entire room. But he could not find it out because it was in the pocket of his coat that he had taken off. Well, he could not remember where he had put the coat. Anyway, the entire household had to look for his coat, while he was dancing around. Moreover, he was hindering the other members of the family. Uncle Podger said in annoyance, “Doesn’t anybody know where my coat is? I have never found such a set throughout my life. None of the six of you can find my coat. I took it off just now. Not even five minutes ago!” Then he stood up and found that he was sitting on the coat. He spoke loudly, “Oh, you need not look for it anymore. I myself have found it now.” After half an hour had been passed in bandaging his finger, Uncle Podger got a new glass for the picture. Two of the family members had to hold the chair. The third had to help him up on the picture. Then the fourth had to hand him a nail, while the fifth had to pass hi

Uncle Podger and the Picture–I

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None has ever seen such a commotion in a house except when Uncle Podger would undertake a job. Similarly, one day, a picture was delivered by the frame-makers. It had to be put up on a wall in the dining room. Aunt Podger asked, “What is going to be done with it?” Uncle Podger replied promptly, “No worry. Just leave that to me. I’ll do all that is required.” Right then, after removing his coat, he began. After sending a girl out for a few nails, he sent one of the boys just after her to tell the size of the nails. Thereafter, he shouted, “Will, go and get me the hammer.” Again he said, “Bring me the rule, Tom. Well, I need the step-ladder as well as a kitchen chair.” Then Uncle Podger said, “Maria, you don’t go. I want somebody to hold the light.” Then the girl came back with the nails. Anyway, Uncle Podger sent her again for a piece of picture cord. He shouted, “Where’s Tom? Come here, Tom. Hand me up the picture.” After that, Uncle lifted up the picture, but right the